beyond.

i have never really lived for myself. it was always for my parents, or for god, or for my boyfriend, my best friend, my job... everyone but me. everything i did was somehow a "responsibility" of the sort to please someone else. the things i did do for myself were mostly meaningless (shaving my legs, washing my hair, brushing my teeth, etc.) or "negative" (becoming anorexic, sexual pleasures, drinking way too much soda, etc...).

now i'm an hour away from my parents, distant from god/church, single, unemployed... all of those might sound negative, but for once, i can take the time to do what i want, when i want. for me.

today i went to a movie. i saw "little miss sunshine". excellent, i must say. i laughed, i teared.

i went alone.

maybe not the biggest thing, but a small step towards living my life beyond boundaries.

one step at a time.

i used to think the rhythm was gonna get me.