discover me.

Currently talking to a friend about the purpose of this blog ... Why not simply have a personal journal which no one reads and no one can become concerned about? I suppose I am sick of walking around "faking it" - I mean - by no means am I fake. But no one knows what I think about, what I feel, who I am, really. People only know what you tell them ... or what they perceive. I don't tell many people very much, for fear of what they will think of me, if they will still accept me or talk to me or spend time with me...

So let's start with this ... Yes, I have a hard time forgetting ... I react poorly ... I do things when I'm angry/sad that I would never do when I'm completely conscience of myself. I love all the wrong people and hide from those who care about me. I blame my problems on everything else because I'm too afriad of admitting I'm not perfect. I cannot fail. I can't let myself down ... I can't let you down. It's too painful. Instead, I let you let me down ("You" being subjective ...) And yet when it's all said and done, I blame myself for the shitty things people do to me.